Remember those times when you wake up and all you have to think about is what kind of episode your favorite cartoon will be or what kind of game you’re going to play? I miss those times. I miss being a kid. Not having to think about a lot of things nor having to beat a deadline for school requirements. I miss going to sleep and not worrying what I’m going to do the next day. Not worrying about anything at all. But I just took for granted of those times.
When I was younger, I wanted to grow up so bad just to do everything I wanted. Buy all the ice cream I want or toys that I wanted to play with. I didn’t know that growing up means having a lot of responsibilities. I thought adults were living the dream, wasting money for the things that will make them temporarily happy. But I was dead wrong. The older you get, the more responsibilities you have. Life will throw more work and obstacles at you and if you aren’t prepared for that, you’re done. I’m just a college freshman and here I am, complaining how hard life is. I don’t know if it’s because I feel so drained or because I’m just scared. Scared of all the responsibilities.
There comes a time when I just wanted to stop. Stop doing everything, stop thinking and yeah, stop existing. I just want to rest and be peaceful and not having to catch up with how fast life is going. I don’t have any choice nor say in this and all I can do is complain and whine. And that frustrates me to the core. I feel pressured and confused but I don’t want anybody to know that. Because I know that other people’s lives are harder and they have it worse, and that depresses me.
I don’t mind growing old but growing up is a different story. I’m so afraid of commitments and responsibilities that I try to avoid them as much as I could. But they keep following me. They are inevitable. I just want to feel alive and young. I don’t want to grow up now. I don’t think I’m ready for all of this. Someone please take me to Neverland.