Hanging On

Someday, I’m going to breakdown. All the frustration, stress and worries will eventually consume me to the point that I can’t hold it back anymore. I try to be the strong person that everyone knows. But despite the courage, there’s a little kid at the back of my mind, too vulnerable that a single angry glare will make her cry. I try to hide her. But there are times that she escapes, trying oh-so hard to get away. But she can’t. I could never let her go. The thought of my inner weakness facinates and scares me all at the same time. It brings me comfort, knowing that I’m weak just like other people. But it frightens me, knowing that I could be the weakest person there is. I know I have to let her go, let it all go but I’m scared of what would happen if I did. They say I should take courage. It isn’t easy, you know? Getting comfortable about everything. Going the easy way and just playing safe. Away from all those worries. What I don’t understand is that why am I frustrated all the time? So stressed, so worried? Is it because of that little girl in my head? Oh God, please help me. When the time I finally breakdown and just let all that emotion fill me, please help me get throught it. I’ll cry till my eyes can no longer produce tears, scream till my throat hurts and I might even hurt myself. I just hope someone would come along and take it all away. But for now, I’m just going to hang on till the day when I finally breakdown and release it all. Maybe then I could be genuinely happy. Just like the little kid used to be.

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About anjelicaibuyan

An aspiring PUPian journalist from Pasig City, Philippines.

Posted on December 9, 2014, in Random Thoughts. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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